Mine and Yours
by Traci
Summary: 4-D challenge. What if Monica hadn't done what she did for John near the end of 4-D? What if she had questioned her own theory?


Disclaimer: Not mine, wish they were but hey. if horses were men. I'd name them all Nick hehehehehe. My mind has gone and left me behind.  
  
Category: DR UST, Friendship  
  
Rating: PG  
  
Spoilers: 4-D  
  
Author: Traci  
  
Author Notes/Summary: In response to a challenge posted uh.. on one of the lists (the memory is a terrible thing to lose. wait, what is terrible to lose?) Anyway, the challenge was. what if Monica hadn't. oh. spoilers for 4-D here... ready?. what if she hadn't pulled the plug?  
  
Special thanks to Tracy (aka DQ). for um, encouraging me to hurry up and finish this as well as betaing for me (  
  
Mine and Yours  
  
Monica stood staring at John. His eyes pleaded with her to pull the plug. She knew her theory was right but... but what if it wasn't? What if by pulling the plug she would lose John, hers or any other, forever?  
  
His eyes questioned.  
  
"I can't do it, John," she whispered, a tear falling from her eye. "I'm sorry, but I can't."  
  
'What about your theory?' he typed.  
  
Her chin quivered as she looked to the screen then back to him. "And what if I'm wrong? What if my John doesn't come back? What if..." She shook her head. "I can't take that chance."  
  
He studied her for a moment then typed again. 'What happened?'  
  
Taking a deep breath, Monica took his hand in hers. "We set up a trap for Lukesh. He was in my apartment and nearly killed me." Upon the worry in his eyes, she quickly added, "He's dead. I'm fine."  
  
Stroking his hand with her thumb, she bit her lower lip. "I had come here with the intent... with the... to..." Her voice caught. "I just can't take that chance. What if the situation were reversed? What if it were me lying there asking you to pull the plug? Could you do it?"  
  
He thought for a moment before a small tear slid down his cheek and his eyes told her the truth.  
  
"Then how can you expect me to do it to you?"  
  
They sat in silence. Monica tightly held his hand and their eyes locked into each other.  
  
****************  
  
Monica awoke to someone shaking her.  
  
"Ms. Reyes?"  
  
Slowly she lifted her head. Her eyes first settled on John who had a slight hint of a smile on his lips. She then looked up to see the doctor standing next to her. "Uh... I..."  
  
"Did you lock the door?" he asked.  
  
She nodded. "Habit I guess," she lied.  
  
He shook his head then looked to John. "You're lucky to have her."  
  
'I know,' he typed.  
  
"Ms. Reyes..."  
  
"Monica. Please, call me Monica."  
  
The doctor smiled. "Monica, why don't you go home and get some real sleep for awhile. We have some tests we need to run anyway."  
  
She looked at John.  
  
'Go. I'll be alright.'  
  
Standing up, she leaned over, placing a kiss on his forehead. "I'll be back later."  
  
His eyes never left her until she turned the corner.  
  
****************  
  
"Monica?"  
  
"John? Is that you?" she called back.  
  
"Monica, where are you?" came the reply.  
  
"I'm in the bedroom."  
  
"Monica? Monica?"  
  
"John!"  
  
"I can hear you but I can't see you. Where are you?"  
  
She sat up in her bed. Was that really John? Her John? Tears filled her eyes. She desperately wanted to call Dana to get her thoughts but everyone though Monica was just in denial and under stress. No one but John believed her theory.  
  
"John, where are you?" she cried.  
  
*****************  
  
Two weeks had passed since the shooting. John's ability to talk had returned and slight usage of his upper body but beyond that, he was paralyzed. John was being released from the hospital but, due to his needs, he had to have constant care. Monica had not hesitated to offer. Her dreams had not let up and they were taking their toll but she would not risk losing any form of John.  
  
As she wheeled him into his house, she shut the door and stopped.  
  
"Monica?" His voice was still a bit gravely.  
  
"I'm alright."  
  
"No, you're not. Something's been going on that you haven't told me."  
  
She stood before him and forced a smile. "It's nothing. Let's get you settled in."  
  
"Monica."  
  
She stopped and turned back to him.  
  
"You're still not sure if you did the right thing."  
  
There was no use arguing. He was right.  
  
"I'm sorry, Mon."  
  
"I keep hearing... you... him... one of you. Calling out to me. Not able to find me," she finally admitted. "I... John, I'm so confused."  
  
He had no words. He had no idea what he would have done in her place. His Monica was dead. Here he had been given a second chance but her John was still very much alive somewhere. Watching the pain she was going through, he briefly thought of taking his own life so her John could return. But what if she was right? What if she lost him as well? "  
  
"I'm sorry." Monica sighed. "I'll get your stuff from upstairs. You think about what you feel like eating."  
  
Before he could respond, she ran up the stairs. Slowly, he wheeled himself into the living room. She doesn't deserve this. His eyes fell on a picture of her on a nearby table and in that moment he knew. He struggled to open his wallet and pulled out a picture of his Monica. He knew the Monica in his house was not his Monica.  
  
"John?"  
  
"Yeah?" he called back.  
  
"How many blankets?"  
  
He smiled. Whether it was his Monica or some parallel one, she was the same. Always thinking of others before herself. "Would you just get down here? I'm starving!" he teased.  
  
A few minutes later the brunette woman re-appeared with an armful of sheets, towels, pillows and a quilt.  
  
"It is summer you know," he said as she placed the items on the floor next to the couch.  
  
"You have air-conditioning," she defended with a smile. Sitting down beside the pile, she studied his face.  
  
"You're not her," he finally whispered.  
  
"What? Who?"  
  
"My Monica. You were right." He held up his picture and nodded to the picture on the table. "You are both so much alike but... I don't know. I can't really explain it."  
  
Glancing at the two pictures, she slowly turned back to him. "Just like I can't explain how I knew you weren't my...John."  
  
In spite of himself, he grinned.  
  
"What?"  
  
"I'm sorry, but referring to him as your John just well..."  
  
She laughed. "Makes me sound like a hooker. Great."  
  
"So, what now?"  
  
"Maybe..." she paused in thought. "Maybe there's a way to get my Jo... Doggett back and still have a way to let you stay too."  
  
He laughed. "Yeah, like this world needs two of me."  
  
Her eyes sparkled above her smile. "I could think of worse people to have two of." Getting up, she helped him out of the wheelchair and onto the couch, where she sat beside him.  
  
John knew she was thinking about the other Doggett. "Mon?"  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
"What if I'm in the right universe and it's you who's not?"  
  
She looked at him, searching her mind for an answer then shook her head. "You said Brad was with you when I... she was killed. He didn't seemed surprised to see me at the hospital."  
  
The doorbell rang and Monica returned with their Chinese food in hand.  
  
While John was able to do some things for himself, eating was still a challenge so Monica took turns feeding him then herself.  
  
He felt guilty and hated feeling like a burden but he knew that if the situation were reversed he would not hesitate to do the same. A tinge of regret hit him. Why had he never told her?  
  
"Monica."  
  
"Yeah?" she responded between bites.  
  
John turned his head. "I didn't say anything."  
  
"But I..."  
  
"Please come back to me."  
  
She heard his voice yet he had not spoken. Her eyes began to water.  
  
"You're hearing him again, aren't you?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
He stared at her in silence for a few moments. In all the years he had known Monica, he had never seen her in so much emotional pain. "If he loves you half as much as I loved my Monica, he won't ever give up."  
  
She was unable to move. Had he just said what she thought he did? Slowly her eyes met his again.  
  
"I never told my Monica. We were such good friends. I guess I... I was afraid."  
  
Without a second thought, she wrapped her arms around him and cried.  
  
***************  
  
A while later, she pulled back, cupped his face in her hands and, looking straight into his eyes, said, "And if your Monica was anything like me she always loved you."  
  
With tears in his eyes, John watched as Monica leaned in, closing his eyes only when her lips touched his. Their kiss was just deepening when she suddenly pulled away.  
  
"I'm sorry," she whispered.  
  
He smiled sadly. "You feel like you're betraying him."  
  
She slowly nodded without looking at him.  
  
"I know. I felt the same thing."  
  
Turning toward him, she took one of his hands in her own. "Why are you believing me on this?"  
  
Taking a moment to collect his thoughts, he smiled. "I didn't at first. I, uh, actually just didn't want to live like this so I tried to use your theory to convince you to pull the plug."  
  
"John."  
  
"You are the only one I trust enough to have done it out of love and not pity." He paused. "But when we got here tonight and I compared the pictures... You know how hard this is for me to even consider, Mon. None of it makes sense. Parallel universes and such but... But it's the *only* thing that makes sense."  
  
She nodded.  
  
"But to tell you the truth, I couldn't even begin to tell you where to start. Maybe you should talk to Dana."  
  
Monica laughed. "She'd only think I was more stressed than I realized."  
  
After a moment, he softly told her, "There is still one way."  
  
"No! That is not even an option." Resting her head on his shoulder, both lost themselves in thought.  
  
"Do you think I should call Luke and let him know I'm okay?"  
  
She sat up. "Luke?"  
  
"My son. I take it your Doggett doesn't have kids?"  
  
Once again tears filled her eyes.  
  
Fearing she thought he was cheating on his wife, he quickly added, "Monica, I'm not married. Barb and I have been divorced for ten years."  
  
She shook her head. "It's not that. My John is also divorced but Luke..." She took a breath. "Luke was murdered in '93."  
  
He stared at her. "No."  
  
She held him once again. "In your world Luke is alive though," she whispered.  
  
"I have to go back."  
  
Resting her forehead against his, she said, "I'm not killing you."  
  
"Monica, I would give my life for you. To see you alive was more than I could have hoped for. But to live in a world where Luke is gone? He's my son."  
  
"We'll find a way," she assured him.  
  
********************  
  
As the following week went by, Monica moved into John's house. She took the guest room on the second floor while they set up the first floor den as John's new bedroom.  
  
Neither had come up with a solution to their situation.  
  
Monica was still haunted by her Doggett's voice.  
  
That Saturday afternoon, John insisted they go out to a nearby park claiming he was tired of being stuck inside.  
  
"It's nice to see there's still life out here," he commented.  
  
"Yeah." She stretched her legs out on the park bench.  
  
He glanced at her. He had always loved how the sunlight showed the highlights in her hair. "Are you going to tell him? If we ever get things back to normal that is."  
  
Monica continued to stare straight ahead. "I don't know." She paused. "Do you want to go for a walk?" Immediately she closed her eyes. "I'm sorry."  
  
He reached out and took her hand. "I'd love to."  
  
She pushed him slowly along the path. "So Brad and I were never involved in your world?"  
  
John shook his head. "I have to admit I was surprised too. He's a nice guy."  
  
Monica laughed. "Now I *know* we're from two different places. The John and Brad I know don't like in each in the least."  
  
"They're just jealous of each other because of you," he grinned.  
  
She stopped beside a small dock and stood beside his chair. They both looked out over the lake.  
  
"Mon?"  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
"If we... If this is how it is now. You here. Me here. Well... are things going to be different?"  
  
She chuckled. "I think they already are."  
  
John smiled. "I meant beyond the obvious. I mean with us." He looked over at her, but she continued to watch the water. "How we are around each other. Our friendship." He shook his head. "I guess I'm not saying this right."  
  
Turning to him, she met his eyes. "I don't know what the answer is. You're not my John and I'm not your Monica so already it's different."  
  
Nodding, he turned his head away from her.  
  
Monica knelt beside him. Placing her hand on his cheek, she forced him to look at her. "But that doesn't mean I wouldn't die for you. You may not be my John but you are still John Doggett."  
  
His eyes filled with tears when, through blurred vision, he shouted, "Get down!" When she didn't move, he gathered all his strength and managed to push her to the ground.  
  
A bullet flew above her head.  
  
A bullet landed straight into John's heart.  
  
"John!"  
  
She turned to see Lukesh standing there as her world went black.  
  
*************  
  
Monica opened her eyes slowly. Her heart pounded in her chest. Would John be there? Her John? The moment they opened fully she saw she was standing in her own kitchen again.  
  
John was not there.  
  
"John," she whispered softly.  
  
Turning around, her foot kicked her portable phone that was lying on the floor. Taking another step, she froze when she heard the clicking of her apartment door.  
  
Quietly she opened a drawer and pulled out a large knife.  
  
"Monica?"  
  
With wide eyes, she turned around and dropped the knife.  
  
"John?"  
  
He nodded and both walked to each other, embracing tightly.  
  
Nearly twenty minutes had passed before they even loosened their hold. Both had tear-stained faces when they looked at each other.  
  
"John, is it really you?" she asked, her voice shaking.  
  
"Yeah. Is it really you?" His right hand trembled as he lifted it to her face, softly caressing her cheek.  
  
She nodded.  
  
"Where have you been?" He swallowed hard. "They told me you were dead. Follmer kept apologizing to me about some guy named Lukesh."  
  
Biting her lower lip, Monica took his had and silently led him to her couch.  
  
She sat beside him, resting her head on his shoulder while John wrapped an arm around her shoulder.  
  
By the time Monica had finished telling him her side of what happened, John stared at her silently. "Would you really do that for me if I was paralyzed?"  
  
"How could you even ask that? You know I would." She paused. "What happened to you? I kept hearing your voice but couldn't find you."  
  
He smiled and tangled his fingers in her hair. "That must have been when I was roaming the streets calling for you. When you didn't come back I went into the kitchen and found your phone on the floor but you were gone. My cell phone rang. It was Dana asking me where I was. When I told her what happened she became worried. She told me you had been killed and I had been there with Follmer. She was calling because your..." He choked on his words. "Because your funeral was about to start."  
  
Monica rested a hand on his leg.  
  
"I refused to believe it. I couldn't understand anything that was going on. The only one who I knew could help was..." He locked his eyes with hers. "Was gone."  
  
"I did keep hearing you calling for me. I tried answering a few times but you didn't seem to hear."  
  
"I never heard you. Once I thought I did but I'm not really sure."  
  
She hugged him. "Whatever it was, whatever happened at least we're back in our own world and alive."  
  
"Thank God for that," he whispered then looked at her. "But while we may be together in one place that leaves one question."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Which Dana, Skinner, and Follmer are we stuck with?"  
  
Monica laughed. "Hey, did you and Brad get along?"  
  
"Ya know that was the weirdest thing. He kept acting like he and I were friends. Above all else, I think that was my clue that something was seriously wrong."  
  
"That's what I told the other Doggett." She grinned. "I told him I knew I was in the wrong place because you and Brad would never get along."  
  
Monica's phone rang.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Monica, it's Dana."  
  
She smiled. "Hi, Dana."  
  
"I hate to bother you because I'm sure you're busy with moving and such, but have you heard from Agent Doggett? He was supposed to drop a file by my place earlier but I haven't heard from him."  
  
Monica looked to John, reached over, and took his hand in hers. "I think I might know where he is. I'll let him know you're waiting for that file."  
  
"Thanks. Uh, Monica, are you alright?"  
  
She continued to smile at John. "Yes. I'm fine. I'm really fine."  
  
When she hung up, John squeezed her hand. "Well?"  
  
"I think everything is back to the way it should be. Though, you're in a bit of trouble with Dana. Seems you were supposed to drop a file off today."  
  
He looked confused. "Are you saying that what we experienced was only experienced by us?"  
  
"I think so." Her eyes fell upon the bag of polish sausages on her table. "What exactly is in those things?" Her eyes sparkled as they looked back at him once again.  
  
"I don't know, but I'm not sure I'm going to get them from that vendor ever again."  
  
The stared at each other before John reached out and pulled her to him yet again. "Whatever it was, I'm still glad it's over."  
  
"So am I," she whispered. "So am I."  
  
'Are you going to tell him? If we ever get things back to normal that is.'  
  
She nuzzled John's neck slightly and thought, 'Someday. Someday soon."  
  
Doggett's cell rang. Reluctantly he answered it. From the tone of his voice, Monica knew it was a new case. When he hung up, he stared at her.  
  
"What is it?  
  
"They've just arrested someone for murder. Someone who claims to know us."  
  
She remained silent.  
  
"His name is Lukesh."  
  
"John."  
  
"I know." Taking her hand, he pulled her up from the couch. "They said they have him on first degree." He stopped walking and turned to her. "No matter what, he isn't getting out of prison in this world. Whatever it was I think it's over."  
  
Monica grabbed her keys then watched John, her John, open the door and wait for her. 'Definitely someday soon,' she thought and locked her door behind her.  
  
The End 


End file.
